Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Stand well back...

Madam is suffering of PMS. You've been warned!

Anyway. This girlfriend/boyfriend business drives me mad. First of all, it makes me feel friggin' uncomfortable, just because I like it. Don't make any sense? It well does. I did catch myself thinking "... I could get used to this" just to get a kick in the non-existent bollocks by getting told I shouldn't put too much effort in it coz it won't be anything long-term anyway. Well fuck off then, I ain't gonna waste my time.

But then again, he's cute. And a nice waste of time anyway, so I'll have it for a bit. All the girls reading this I can hear you scream "nooooo" and me telling you lot that I can decide whether to get emotionally involved or not, you know it's a lie.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Busted

I had it all planned - coming into work today (still got that cold, big time), moaning around for half a day, then shooting off at midday everyone patting me on the back for hanging in there that long... and then stay away from the office until next week, which should have given me nearly a week of sweet fuck all holidays.

So I got in this morning, and one of the team was quicker than me. He's called in sick. Friggin' wanker. I ain't gonna let the team down now. Friggin' wanker. He ain't ill that friggin'... you get the picture. What a wanker.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Blatantly sweet

Nooo it's a lie, feeling like shit, I've come down with a stinking cold. The stupid b*tch standing next to me was wearing an ugly perfume making me cough all the way to work.

I'll be off to see my client this afternoon, bet he wants to talk business after our meeting. I'll keep you posted.

My man's still asleep and I'm bored shitless. Did too much work this morning obviously.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Texting folks

My parents... I love them dearly, but my dad just keeps taking the piss. I've got a cold, had to get up at 6.30am this morning and yesterday it was pissing down big time. So I wasn't really overjoyed when they sent me this text when I was on the way to work this morning:

"Hi Dani we're in a beautiful hotel just leaving for a beach walk towards St Tropez, x"

Yeah thanks.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Download season ticket application form

Uh-oh, do do doo, downloaded, filled in, now on my desk in all its glory - the application form for my season ticket. The "I've enclosed a cheque over £555" hurts a bit but then again, a big chunk comes from my company for my neverending and always motivated contribution.

So I'll go and send it off now. My season ticket. And a ticket for the first Euro game for a tenner on top of it.

My life is complete.

How to give up smoking... not

I feel like a bag of shit today and I blame my rather lame attempt not to smoke. I managed nearly 24 hours! Not bad for a first try. Maybe it wasn't too clever to go to the pub Sunday afternoon, but then again we wanted to watch the play-off final.

Anyway. I'm seriously considering giving up now... or soon. Just don't quite know how - Zyban? Patches? Cold turkey? It honestly scares me... for no obvious reason, thinking about it. Have a cold today and having a fag is seriously evil, and whenever I'm coughing - you smokers out there know how it is!

Tips on a postcard. Off to buy some nicotine patches... tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Let's give it a go then

Mad world. I have a wicked job offer (can't say too much about it yet) and... looks like Andy and I are going to give it a go. Blimey. Being an old bugger ain't too bad then.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Seven shades of shock

Saturday night - still on a high from all the adrenaline

Sunday - denial and complete lack of understanding

Monday - emptiness and despair

Tuesday - pride

So I guess I'm over it now - sod it, look where we've come from!

Monday, May 15, 2006

I've had this before

Vaguely remember this, not eating much because you have all the serotonin going, stupidly grinning for no obvious reasons, bit of an ache somewhere in your stomach. No no noooo good this is.

People telling me that I defend him, and I get kicks on my shins for the way at look at him, and me refusing to admit that there's anything more to it but it only sounds half-hearted...

We didn't win because...

... I wasn't there, with my lucky pants. There, I've said it. Or maybe because I sent a text in the 88. minute. Or maybe it was because Steven fucking Gerrard scored that goal in the 90. What a c*nt. Please sign him.

It was a fabulous day. Getting up at 4am ten minutes before my alarm went off. Downing half of a (ok, small) bottle of Vodka because wouldn't take it that a mate can take 3 gulps. Getting wankered at the walkabout. Comforting a girl outside the boozer crying her heart out. Feeling shit the next day seeing pictures of Yossi and Anton. Being very pissed off today because it was unfair not winning. But we didn't lose either. Now shut up, roll on next season.

Friday, May 12, 2006

an email I sent today...

It's started yesterday, that sickly, nervous feeling in my stomach. Went out last night and got absolutely sloshed - and when I woke up this morning ("oh no, not again - where am I?") I was still drunk from the night before. But there was only one thing in my mind - getting to work in time, so I can leave in time tonight. I have another 45 minutes to go until I can leave. Haven't done much today but surfed KUMB. Got goosebumps here and there and could feel the tension building up. All day I had this urge of shouting IRONS and singing bubbles!

On my way home I will look out for the lads in colours. That's when you sit in the tube grinning a stupid smile because you see somebody with a west ham scarf at the other end of the carriage. I won't be able to sleep tonight, again. I'll be ironing and cleaning the flat, again, as I did the night before the semi. I'll be laying out the stuff I'm going to wear tomorrow and prepare the overnight-rescue-first-aid-food bag. I shall be lying sleepless until 3am and then get up and get ready. My bus is leaving at 5.10am tomorrow morning, and it will get me to Wanstead/Redbrige by 6am. Deano is going to pick me up at 6.15am, I believe there will be a whole coach - some of the lads we've met at the boozer in Birmingham, remember? The ones that were sitting at the same table with us.

This email took me nearly an hour now. I'm absolutely useless today. Can't think of anything but going to Cardiff, having a great day out, sunshine, beers, dodgy pies, the roaring, the fun on the road, more beers, getting all excited, butterflies, the nailbiting... yay! I better go now :-)

Have a fantastic weekend, I'll be phoning the world when we lift the cup :-)

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Ok ok, it's two days today, kinda...

Still no ticket, I'm giving up. Was actually thinking of not going to Cardiff at all... Had a pretty bad day yesterday, but late at night Andy called - he got all sweet and I've decided no bad hair day should make me miss Cardiff.

The idea of going to the world cup (car, tent, bikini), as nice as it was, we've cancelled. Just too much hassle and money - might as well just watch it here in England. Sod it. But I thought it was sweet of him asking - I wouldn't be able to spend more than 3 days with myself, and then going for 2 weeks? Fcuk me!

Will be off to see the streets tonight, can't wait! Should be a laugh - flogged my spare and Kevin is coming with me. Haven't seen him in ages, reckon he wouldn't mind a go but this time you'll be banging your head against a brick wall, luv.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

2 days to the final

I'm doomed, FFS! Mate I wanted to go with hasn't been feeling well and I'm not quite sure whether I'm (partly) responsible for this. Called Monday saying he wasn't even sure he'd go to Cardiff - what? Something's wrong.

Oh. Text right this minute. All good.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

World cup, you're having a laugh!

A girl's view on the world cup squad? Pleasure! Nice legs they have, and shame Theo fucking Walcott is only 17 - I ain't that much of a nappy chaser.

Goalkeepers - yeah, whatever. Not much to argue about. Defenders - looks solid. Not much to argue about. Now...

Midfielders. Jenas, Hargreaves, Downing and Lennon are four players I personally wouldn't have chosen - especially not looking at the forwards, of which we have only 4 on the list, two of them ain't fit, the third is Crouch (sorry but he makes me cringe) and the other is Theo fucking Walcott.

Picking players for a world cup squad isn't a job I wanted. It's not about stats, and it's not entirely about individuals. It's a team you have to put together, and the best player in a league team is only as good as the passes he gets from his pals. Put two world class stikers upfront and you're not guaranteed a string of goals - they need a whole team behind, down to the fucking kitchen crew as we now all know.

Sven is having a kick-ass gamble here. With Theo fucking wonderkid Walcott he might land a strike, but I doubt it. Shame, I was looking forward to this.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Monday comedown

Just realised. So I shall be heading West for the football training today - getting my serotonin levels back up.

Writer's block

There, I've said it. Barbeque at Greg's - great. Birthday bash at Plan B - great. Winning against Spurs - great. Today's mood - sh*t.

Friday, May 05, 2006

next stop: brixton academy

Coming home on Wednesday, I had a card from the post office: Special delivery. I froze: haven't I paid an invoice? Someone's been looking for me, uh, help - fucking pain! Then, last night, I realised it might as well be the tickets for the streets gig on thursday - and yes, they are. Good I haven't ignored that thing (as I usually do).

8 days to the final

... and still nothing. Should I be worried? I'm not at the moment, I got one for the semi - on the other hand, I shouldn't expect that it's going to work out just fine because of that. Damn.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Go figure

Alright. Someone give me strength - Andy wanted to take me out Saturday before the match, birthday drinks. There wasn't enough time to switch on my brain so I invited him down to my ex house to join us for a barbeque and clubbing in Brixton afterwards. ... Sunday we'll go for breakfast at Ken's and a couple of pints near the ground.

Well done me! FFS!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

The male brain. Is there one?

Today's convo with one of my best mates...

Dani says:
mate i'm telling you, had a date this weekend
Dani says:
fucking sweetheart he is but
Gregg says:
but?
Dani says:
well
Dani says:
we met on sun and monday
Dani says:
on monday I said i'd like to see him again
Dani says:
and he goes: I'm not looking for a relationship, I'm not ready to settle down, not with anyone, don't take it personal
Dani says:
all the crap you know
Gregg says:
yeah
Dani says:
I know how to take it
Dani says:
it means, sorry it ain't you
Dani says:
but anyway
Gregg says:
you met him both days?
Dani says:
yes
Gregg says:
yeah
Gregg says:
I can understand
Dani says:
had about 2 phone calls
Gregg says:
your a lot to take on
Dani says:
3 emails
Dani says:
20 texts
Dani says:
I know
Dani says:
:-)
Dani says:
bit confused if he's interested or not
Dani says:
now he's telling me he wants to see me on sat
Dani says:
what for, for fuck's sake
Dani says:
???
Gregg says:
shagged him yet?
Dani says:
errrrr
Gregg says:
thats probably why he wants to see you Saturday then hey!
Dani says:
oh... good point!
Gregg says:
:-)

Half time, sort of...

Great day to think where I started sometime earlier this year, remembered this post late January, now let's see...

- no more one nighters with strangers
willing spirit, but the flesh is weak - or what. Well at least I managed to get names and phone numbers from all of them? No seriously, I've calmed down a lot.

- hitting the 35k p.a. mark
getting there. I'll have to change jobs if I want to make a real improvement (way over my goal btw) but... we'll see.

- get back in shape
err. no. Still playing volleyball and football tho, especially with football I've realised that I'm just not fit, so... gym today. Kat and Mike promised me to drag me there twice a week, which should be ok for a start.

- move back to South London
now that's a different story. I'm not quite sure whether i really want to move back to South London. It's taken a fair bit of time and lots of effort, but I feel very much at home now. I've even started (again) looking at flats to rent. Once a towner, always a towner? I love this shithole.

Body clock? Eh?

So I was vegging out on the sofa after another hard day (errr) watching telly - great, I thought, new programme on. "How to turn back your body clock". Started watching it and got very, very frightened. This bloke's liver was already seriously damaged (not nice seeing the scans, honestly!) and all. What can I say, I have my gym stuff with me today! Let's see how long that's going to last...

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

11 days to the final

still no tix in hand. getting bit nervous now...