I've had this before

Vaguely remember this, not eating much because you have all the serotonin going, stupidly grinning for no obvious reasons, bit of an ache somewhere in your stomach. No no noooo good this is.

People telling me that I defend him, and I get kicks on my shins for the way at look at him, and me refusing to admit that there's anything more to it but it only sounds half-hearted...