Germany here we come

So it's all sorted now - leaving Thursday night to catch the ferry over to Belgium, then all the way to Germany - we have to be in Gelsenkirchen on Saturday 1st July for the England game. In case Switzerland gets through to the semis, next stop will be Dortmund on the 4th, if not, we might head to Munich for the English playing the semi on the 5th.

Then there's the final in Berlin... not too sure 'bout that one. Seeing my folks doesn't wash with going to Berlin (over 500 miles, each way) - and then there will be the sheer masses leaving the town after the final whistle, with us. Reckon it's going to take us 10-12 hours back to Dunkerque, which doesn't quite fit in with our plans to catch the ferry that Monday night. Well... We'll see. If the Switz (or English) lose the semis there's still a match in Stuttgart.

We have a tent, a car, an airbed, a map and a football. Sorted. Let's go!

One step closer

Premiership fixture list came out yesterday at 10am - I faked sudden illness to sneak out of the meeting and have a glimpse. Charlton at home first game - ok, Charlton ain't very exciting but it's a home game, so I'll get to see everyone again. Tuesday after that it'll be Watford away before it's Liverpool away on the Saturday 26 August - for which I'm checking flights, trains and hotels now. Roll on Premiership!

Things I want...

... and things I don't want. Spoke to my best friend last night, haven't heard of her for a couple of weeks. She's very very very happy with her man - they talk about moving together, kids, marriage, the lot. I loved it - I could hear it how happy she is.

She's asked me about A. If he's the man for me? I couldn't say. If he makes me happy. Not today I said, after all that happened during the day. I laughed it off but it got me thinking. I want to be with somebody there is a chance I'll have a future with. I wonder if I'm strong enough this time.

Debt free

... I've done it. Paid off the ten grand. Written statement and confirmation here in front of me. 'tis pretty amazing feeling. Now all that's left is a grand or two on my credit card, but that's nothing compared... Thank fuck for that, I'm back.

Tuesday limps

It's the same every Tuesday morning, limping into office... last night's football training has taken its toll, it's my ankle this time.

But anyway, I'm only two weeks away from my holiday - I've moved heaven and earth to get the first week in July off. Even had to get a temp in, no shit (well I didn't think it was necessary but it just looks good). And now it's official, since yesterday, I can go - but can't get hold of Andy, who needs to put in his holiday as well. If he's changed his mind I'll kill him.

Kid's play

Went to get another football today after the last one went missing from Canary Wharf last Saturday... Whilst I was waiting for Mikey to stop playing online poker I started talking to two kids down the park - or rather they started talking to me.

So we ended up playing football for an hour, made Mike chucking down the whistle so we could have a proper referee, it was pretty cool. It made me think... From the five boys I am pretty sure I can tell who's going to struggle... who's going to be one of them heartbrakers, who's probably going to be addicted at some later stage in life. I don't know if it's obvious to others as well, but it reminded me of my plan to (at some time) retire from the rat race in London, move to the country side and be a teacher.

There, I said it...

... I've complained. And I feel a million times better, now it's out. I think he knows I didn't mean to give him a hard time but that I needed some sort of reassurance whilst he's dealing with his shit. And that's probably why we're trying to get a week off and go to Germany for the last week of the world cup.

For Shaka. For West Ham. For Sensimilla.

Oh, and there was a game too last night, England v Shaka. I have to admit the office feed drove me mad so I left, only to get at home right in time to see Stevie Gerrards blinder go in. Poor Shak. He must have seen enough of him for a lifetime.

Gym. Not shit!

Tried it on Wednesday... But forgot the trakkie bottoms (clever). Tried again Thursday, but the trains were fucked (great). So today I was expecting something similar - but I made it. 8am at the gym, well done me. Feeling pretty good now!

Which is good news because I'm actually fuming... A went virtually AWOL, means I haven't spoken to him this week and, thinking of it, neither last week. I know his sis isn't well and I think his boss is giving him a hard time, so I thought I better don't go and complain for not treating me like a princess.

But quite frankly, I've had enough of it now. Because I'm only guessing, and it might as well be that it's me that makes him unhappy.

*hand slap head

Righty then... Imagine a blog being a virtual diary. And the various entries in a blog represent the pages. Easy you say. Nay.

This guy here buys a new diary every time he wants to write something new in it. Kinda. Clever. Really.

Da Switz

So Switzlerand played last night. A draw, awful game, France was crap, didn't like Frey's "hand of God", end of. Then again, a draw against France - we have potential to become they're bogey team...

... Tired. Off. Bye.

Can I just say...

... no drugs for the last 4 weeks. Whoey. That's a record I think!

Bahamas

It's well hot on the sun. And here. Playing football last night, must have been 600 degrees on the pitch, at least. But I must have burned 20 000 calories, whoey.

Off to watch Switzerland play tonight, wee bit excited now!

S(w)ing it back

Right then. I've never been particularly good at being mentally stable but this takes the piss no end.

For two weeks I've been thinking I should have a break and go on a bender with mates only, no lovvey-dovvey (I really like it in the meantime which adds to the general confusion) stuff, just tell straight out "I won't be around this weekend". Good plan.

So this weekend A was around mine again, me half asleep (post-coitus doesn't really help logical thinking, does it) and before I can think I say it: "if we carry on like this I will fall for you, hun".

WTF? Anyway. I got over the shock of me saying it - and he was probably more shocked than I was anyway. So the next day we're out and about, football, drinks, food, the lot, with two other couples (yay or nay? don't know). On the way back he goes "I don't know if I'll come down to London next weekend". Now there's me interpreting this as "look I need a break", as I need one anyway, but the fact that he said it first pisses me off.

Yes, I'm one of those that would dump a bloke I like just to make sure I'm not the one dumped.

Now I'm not too sure if I really want that weekend off anyway. Because he wants it. It drives me mad. Oh, and the fact that I got caught off guard Sunday afternoon didn't help either. We came back from football and he gets ready to leave (earlier as usual), and I'm too slow to react (I'm fucking slow with shit like this anyway). And I had a lot of unanswered questions I wanted to asked. Which I asked via text message (stupid). Anyway.

I'm turning into an insecure, mad thinking, not very laid back anymore bunny boiler, and I hate it. What probably means I really like him.

Bowyer signs

And I get a pat on the back for my posting! Didn't expect that at all but I feel well proud now. Anyway. Lee Bowyer (how the f*ck is that name pronounced anyway) will play for West Ham - setting is off-the-pitch antics aside (I think he's paid for them) I reckon il Padre will sort him out and get the most out of him. Bowyer knows he has to prove himself and I can't wait to see him play.

Apart from that, it's about 26C and sunny and nearly 2pm Friday afternoon. Roll on world cup - I shall lie in the sun and be pissed before kick-off! Andy should be around mine later tonight so I'll take him out for a couple of drinks - early night tonight, it's football tomorrow... but only half as good as premiership. Missing it big time, I wonder what happened to the kumb summer party...

Plain wrong

Something is not quite right with this country. So we're having a bit of trouble with asylum seekers that commit crimes and then disappear, the BNP is on a high and a lot of people I know are close to what I would call racists...

... and then there is my work mate, living and working here, paying taxes - and my company tried to extend her visa because she's doing a brilliant job. And she can't stay, because she's South African and hasn't got a degree. Bollocks to that, sir.

My past is haunting me

In a good way this time - haven't spoken to Craig for ages so it was nice to hear from him. After a couple of emails we're now back on track and know what's happening in each others lives. Told him about me being a good girl lately...

[...]I've never believed that anything is bad for you - until it's been proven by me laying in pool of my own body fluids...

Good old C...

[...]I cannot believe how much you've cleaned up your act! [...] - was so pleased to hear that you're at least still smoking!

Actually, yes. No drugs for the last 2 months which is quite an achievement if you ask me. Cheers, pal.

Missing you

I miss my football. I miss getting up early on Saturdays for a breakfast at Ken's before the first pint of the day down the Boleyn. I miss bumping into people on the road I've seen fortnightly all season. I miss the buzz and the excitement, the rants and banter during the matches. I even miss the nutteres and idiots, the ones that try to grab you and others that wouldn't allow girls in the ground if they were in charge.

The world cup, I couldn't care less. Yes, I will watch the matches - but why should I give a shit? To say it in someone else's words (if I could remember who it was I'd say, honestly): "Why should I cheer players I hate just because they're wearing an England shirt".

Next stop: Premiership fixtures, out on June 22nd at 11am. Watch this space!

It was the foxes!

Good time I had. Sneak preview of Vicary Road (will be a nice day out), some hardcore shopping (here's to white trainers pair no. 6), very good food and being overheard having sex (yeah awesome, especially the next day).

So, everyone. If you pretend being asleep but can hear somebody trying to shag not too loud in the room next to yours, do you

a) say something at the first bit of funny "dying dog sounds", or

b) have a giggle and wait till it seems to be over an hour later, then knock at the door and say "have you finished or are you just having a break"

Thought so. Thanks.

Happy anniversary

Happy 1st birthday dear stoners blog! Finally, I've arrived in blogger's heaven and refer to my own shit. Hope you'll like the "this day last year" feature.

This day last year: Just back from South Africa. I don't want AIDS again!

How to give up smoking part II

Right. I've cut down to 10 fags a day (which is half of my usual intake) and half of those I don't really smoke but just let them burn down coz I'm busy talking. Anyway. What's much more important - I haven't had any charlie in 4 weeks. I've just realised today. Didn't even miss it really.

Thinking of it... Good night out anyone?

Shopping madness

So I went to ASDA last night and walked towards the tills when I realised that there were 3 orderly queues formed by... trollies only. Uh?

Nice idea. You go shopping and when you're half finished, you park your trolly at the till and shoot off to get the rest of your shit.

Anyway, I squeezed past one of them (nobody around mind you and the till girl was nearly finished with the bloke she'd been serving) and started putting my stuff on. I think the girl was half way through when a family emerged from the sweets and chocolate aisle, arms full of goods and gave me very angry looks because I had the nerves to jump to queue.

You having a laugh. Fuck off.