a new stoners ethos to life

Running for charity

2008-04-15T12:42:00.002+01:00

I didn't think very much when I signed up to do the British 10k race - but I do remember looking at the submit button before committing to run for OCD-UK.

It's a charity I found whilst doing some research, and it's been quite an eye opener... So with emotions running high I've decided to do something for them whilst doing something for myself, too.

I'm just not quite sure what Mr Stoner is going to say when I tell him what charity I'll run for - maybe I just don't tell him at all.

Anyway, with the IKEA mattress delivered just half an hour ago I can now spend the rest of the afternoon at the gym. Or maybe having a coffee first? Coffee!

ROFL

2008-04-13T20:37:00.002+01:00

So there I was browsing old posts when I came across a real beauty - I got words mixed up. Instead of calling someone a whinge, I said something else. With a lovely smile.

Minge.

Yeah that would help then if I wanted to get rid of someone trying to chat me up. Sorry, I'm still laughing, and I apologise to the whole of the English population out there, seriously.

99ers and losing weight, strangely unrelated

2008-04-13T19:39:00.003+01:00

Gotta love those cute ice cream vans - we got two of those in Romford, well at least that's the ones I see. One's always outside TK Maxx, the other on South Street (which, technically, is the High Street so someone rename them, please).

Since they're always in the same place, surely the council could help them out with a bit of jizz? Because so far, I've only ever seen them with the engines running. And that, quite frankly, ain't on.

On a lighter note, Mr Stoner seems to be terribly loved up again which is cute and I'm loving every moment. Back on the meds and with big plans for the future, I like to think it's got something to do with me - but that's another story. So we're back browsing flats in Bromley and discussing if a 150 quid wardrobe from Argos is a goer (of course, it isn't - over my dead body).

I'm still waiting for my Thinz to arrive - when in South Africa a few years ago (The post is still here) we bought a couple of those pills purely as a drug replacement. Apparently there were like Speed. Great, we thought! Didn't do much though.

A few years on I'm hoping to cheat my body into eating less - because God knows I've fucking tried but my flesh is very weak, as weak as my mind really.

IKEA

2008-04-07T18:27:00.002+01:00

Ok, I love IKEA. The whole concept is brilliant. Flatpack, go get it yourself from the warehouse, buy an electric screwdriver... I mean, it's genius!

Moving on to generation online shopping, they seem to have followed through their 'cheap is good' motto and have appointed not only a crap delivery company, but also hired brainless knobends for the customer service.

Granted, the bed was cheap, including two memory foam mattresses and delivery I've spent just over 300 quid. But delivering a double bed with a single mattress, at what point did anyone think that order is complete?

So one week later, they have finished their warehouse search and since nothing has been found, a new mattress was ordered for me. Which means another week's wait and another day off work.

Which is fine by me, it's not busy and I love a day off, and I'm just using the old mattress in the new bed. Not fussed, really. But it's not exactly great service, is it. So I'll have to wait until I get it delivered before I can ask for compenstation - and I'll make sure I'll spend the vouchers in the shop and not online!

Lights on, nobody in

2008-04-01T21:44:00.002+01:00

Ok then, I'm a shit girlfriend.

I can't name his second football team. I don't remember the rugby team he supports. I just about remember his birthday but recall a wrong position he plays in.

I'm shit, really.

Morning madness

2008-03-28T09:27:00.001Z

Standing in Exmouth Market's Starbucks I looked out only to see the "hole in the wall" bloke blowing raspberries to someone. Imagine my relief when it turned out that someone was a little girl in a pushchair...

Ironing

2008-03-20T15:46:00.002Z

I fucking hate it. I'm looking at the iron right now (yes, while typing, I'm great like that), over to the pile of clothes I need to do, great big sigh... You get the picture. I don't need a cleaner, but I think I'll get myself an ironing lady. Fuck it, cleaning and ironing lady.

I mean, there's so much stuff I could be doing instead of ironing!

1. Watch Heroes. Why did nobody tell me how cool Heroes is? Fuck you all!
2. Sneakers shopping - I need a new pair, urgently
3. Massages. I sooooo want one. Neck and shoulders. No "you're a little tense, darling" jokes please, I know I am!
4. Call my best mate I haven't spoken in about two months (time flies, indeed)
5. Read. One of the 7 books I either haven't finished or not started yet. Serves me right for picking reading material because it will make me look clever on the tube, instead of something I fancy reading.
6. Book a riding holiday. I think I need it. That's the one with real horses, chaps.
7. Get ready for Dublin. Which brings me back to the ironing, I need to get it done, together with a bit of a clean.

"Just to see if I would care"

2008-03-19T13:46:00.002Z

When the current Mr Stoner told me he had OCD a few weeks into our blossoming relationship, I didn't have a grasp of what that would or could mean.

OCD, that's those people washing hands and checking a million times if a door is locked, or that's what I thought.

I didn't know it would mean that he had to say something in his head until it sounds right. Even when he told me, I didn't realise it could take minutes. Hours. Or days.

When he said he was worrying about people a lot, I thought he just cared a bit too much. I didn't realise it meant that they will die if he does or doesn't do something.

I've got an easy way out now, I have the chance to leave and not look back. And right now I don't know what I'm going to do.

It's not a binding contract, honest

2008-03-13T21:52:00.003Z

I do have my clever moments but most of the time I'm somewhere floating about in La-La-Land, and it's easy to catch me off guard.

Well it's happened two days ago, gone 8pm, doorbell. I've got video entry and this dude outside tells me he's here for gas & electricity, holding his badge up. Since I had spoken to my supplier only a week ago, I just let that bloke in thinking he was going to check the readers downstairs.

Moments later he's at the door of my flat, asking if I was the tenant that had lived here before. To cut the story short - he was from npower telling me "I was still on the expensive supply with eon" and if I would be ok with npower ringing me to give me cheaper prices.

Sure enough, and he starts filling in some form. Watching over his shoulder I notice it says "contract" at the top and has a direct debit agreement slip as well. He keeps telling me that it's not a contract and shows me the "next steps" in the brochure conventiently covering the word "contract" with his hand.

I told him I wouldn't be signing anything tonight and I think he got the message that I was awake enough to realise he was trying to fuck me over.

His reply? "Oh it's because I'm black, isn't it, don't trust the black man".

He'd left me with the brochure including the contract. Of course it WAS a contract. Of course it's legally binding with a 14 days cool off period. However, had I believed what he told me (that it's not a contract) and waited for the confirmation, those 14 days would have been over and I'd been in the doo-doo, potentially.

I kid you not - what a f*cking moron accusing me of being racist because I pulled him up? Twat. Npower should better check on their representatives practises.

Everton away... in ... Dublin!

2008-03-12T09:44:00.002Z

Everton away, lovely weekend trip up north, couple of drinks before, after and in between? Not if that's supposed to happen over Easter, because with any bank holiday, the train lines are fucked at least somewhere in the country. And that's usually the part I was going to need.

So with a train trip out of the picture, there's always the coaches... well had it been the team coach, okay - but I won't share a 6 hour round trip with West Ham's finest (train spotters) on a coach that doesn't allow drinks.

And the car, well the car is great to get there, but who would be mad enough to stay off the sauce just to make sure someone is sober enough to drive back the next day?

A bit of creativity was needed, and it manifested itself in my friend H who suggested we should watch the game in Dublin instead. Dublin? Fooking Oireland?

So we're off to Dublin, it's great, I've never been anyway - and my first ever Guiness is long overdue!

Sneaking back in

2008-03-10T09:42:00.000Z

I feel like Paris Hilton staggering out into the flashlights after a good night out when she's just spent 4 weeks in rehab - well make that a year in my case...

Not that any celeb would spend that much time in rehab anyway. The Priory and others seem to work wonders within only a couple of days, releasing their loaded (see what I did there?) clientele back into the open arms of their wired fake friends. Maybe I'm being harsh but that's not how "getting clean" works.

Anyway, my antics are long gone and after nearly year off any sort of drugs, I'm leaving my self-imposed rehabilitation programme and get back to what I love - having a mighty knees up around some football game!

Monthly Rail Travelcards

2007-04-26T12:42:00.000+01:00

Living in Romford doesn't only mean they've got orange girls and hair-straightener-straight-hair boys for shop assistants, it also means I'm taking the train into London. Yes, ladies and gents, I'm actually outside the tube net!

Someone figure that for me tho: It's still zone 6 and part of London transport. But I can't use my oyster card because it's a railway station without a reader. I need to buy a paper ticket for which, if I want a monthly one, I need to get a photocard from. That photocard I can only get issued at tube stations.

YOU WHAT???

I don't know if you remember me...

2007-04-24T10:30:00.000+01:00

... but I used to post here quite regularly. I'm the misfit, the miserable cow, the maniac. A lot has happened in the 235 days since I posted last...

Living in Romford now - oooh I can hear you, but it really isn't Chav City. I love the market and the flat is just brilliant. I spend a lot of time at home now!

And I'm going to the gym regularly - I haven't checked lately but I'm getting fitter, that's for sure.

Mr Stoner is no more either - we broke up back in January and although we still see each other loads I'm now single in my own mind, although not really "back on the market" since I can't be bothered, really.

I've got some really good friends, a nice job (it's still the same company, slightly different job, and we're all moving soon hopefully near Liverpool Street Station) and a roof terrace - it's 15 days to go until I'm 30 and I'll be savouring the last days as a 20-something!

Tevez and Mascherano

2006-09-01T11:02:00.000+01:00

They're ours. It's fishy as fuck that deal but who cares, I shall be enjoying the ride, my a.r.s.e.!

Got two tix for Brazil/Argentina at the Emirates today and Mr Stoner don't know about it yet (I think he didn't sleep all night) so that will hopefully be a nice surprise. Better be at 45 notes a ticket anyway.

Else - not much to report, getting bit nervous now travelling up to P'boro later tonight or tomorrow morning...

Life is good!

Top of the league

2006-08-23T14:21:00.000+01:00

We are. Today at least. I'll enjoy it while it lasts (until tonight that is).

Not impressed with last nightt's performance. Pards has played us 5-3-2, with Yossi on the bench and Matty out it's left us with serious cracks in the midfield and awful long balls into nowhere. I haven't seen that many rubbish first touches in a long while... But then again, it was an away game against a fully geared up side so I won't complain and take the point, hoping we'll be back to our 4-4-2 next week at Anfield.

Watching the match on Al-Jazeera (sp?) in a pub full of inbreads wasn't too great. Since I'm not smoking I bloody hate others smoking around me. Ex smokers are the worst? Indeed. Although I do have a sneaky one here and there...

Meet the parents

2006-08-22T11:21:00.000+01:00

Sunday morning after the Saturday night (of which I can't remember much so I bet it was good) I woke up at 8am, hung over, totally detached from the world out there...

But still went to watch A play a friendly, trying to hold conversation with other people watching, not good... But we managed to have the "phase 2" talk, well he talked and I listened, that is.

I hate the fact that I can't express myself the way I could speaking my first language, and although it all scares the living shit out of me I'm happier than ever. So it's all good, it's going somewhere, and we're onto something good, I think, and I wasn't that relaxed since puberty kicked in when I was 13.

Greedy fucks

2006-08-22T11:10:00.000+01:00

I found out recently that my bank is charging me £125 every time I go over my overdraft limit - which happens quite a lot. Originally my card would block at the limit, so no harm done, but that's changed for some reason last year... I must have paid over £1000 in "administration fees", fucking joke, and this month it was looking like happening again (getting paid after bank holiday weekend and that).

So I call my bank, excepting the worst, getting all the frustration out (see above) and the girl goes "well then how about just tripling your ofterdraft limit". Err. Thanks, double is fine.

Besides the fact that the charges are absolutely ludacris (and it's my own fucking fault that I haven't stepped in the first time I spotted the fee on my statement, stupid cow) I must say that was the most easy "I have to speak to my bank" stuff I've done in my life. In England. I'm impressed!

I'm still alive, I think...

2006-08-21T14:28:00.000+01:00

Football has well and truly landed... Out on the lash from lunchtime Saturday, after some pints of Stella my traditional "let's get the shots in" opener... that's when things started to get messy and all went blurry. Well. As I said, football has landed.

16 days left...

2006-08-02T21:01:00.000+01:00

... until real football starts. In the meantime, I'll shoot off for a week in France, and what can I say - I'm not even looking forward to it, not because I don't like what's coming, more like because of what I'm leaving behind. Ah well, I'll survive.

Clubbing report - not

2006-07-31T12:24:00.000+01:00

I pretty much knew it when I left the house on Saturday to make my way out to South London - the clubbing night wouldn't happen, at least not with me.

It was nice to see Jules again, he's just returned from his India trip, and Gregg and Anna of course. But the urge to call our dealer never really kicked in, and all I could think of was the horrible 3 hours between the last line and finally being able to sleep. And the crap day I'd have had on Sunday. So there you go. No clubbing, no drugs, and oh boy I enjoyed falling asleep that night without any problems.

We did discuss it briefly tho - what it does to you, and why users usually say it's overrated. The same for 'shrooms, pills, you name it. After years there's one thing I know - it's all in the inside.

Kitchen - check

2006-07-31T08:59:00.000+01:00

Phew, made it, eventually - the kitchen is done! After scraping off the adhesive from the tiles, two layers of sealer and another two layers of colour intensifier I had a bad headache from the fumes but - it looks fantantastic!

Things happen... fast

2006-07-27T15:31:00.000+01:00

Last week I started sending out my CV, just to see what response I get - well a good one obviously, as phone calls have started coming in.

The best of them from a company located near Portsmouth... I had a chat with the ma'm from the employment agency, and apparently I've ticked all her client's boxes - and I liked what she said about the company so I've asked her to pass on my details.

Portsmouth. Would I consider living there, would he come with me, would I leave without him? ... First things first - average train ticket to Waterloo is £20 and it takes only 1.5 hours - so I'd keep my season ticket.

Everything else needs sorting out, but by the looks of it - the party has started!

Weather forecast

2006-07-26T16:45:00.000+01:00

Oh do fuck off... Temperatures will slowly fall from today's 31C to 27C on Saturday, until we finally get some rain on Sunday and the temperature at night fall below 18C. It's not fucking funny anymore, it's too cunting hot, I have a headache being airconned all day and once I leave the office I have to share the tube with a billion of sweaty and stinking peope stealing the fresh air I deserve after a hard day's work.

Alright, I'm bored, and there's no fresh air in the tube anyway, but please, can we have some fucking rain, please!

Say goodbye

2006-07-25T11:52:00.000+01:00

So I've cleaned up my act, and it's time to say goodbye to my old life full of drugs, booze and men... I was thinking of having a proper send off this weekend with my man not being around, get my old mates all geared up and ready for one last big bash.

I've mentioned such thing to A and he wasn't overjoyed (can't blame him), but I have to do it. I'll probably end up leaving the party before midnight, stone sober and bored, because it's so not my scene anymore... but I want to, because I can.

Because you never held me back, you keep me from leaving.

No rush

2006-07-24T12:31:00.000+01:00

I was pretty nervous this Friday, after we had our first big row last week, and I wasn't quite sure what to expect... Certainly not this: "What would you think if I moved down South".

So, three days and a lot of talking later he's handed in his notice today, starts looking for a new job, thinks of living in St. Albans or somewhere closer to London, we will move in a place together by the end of the year and I still can't believe this is all happening.

In the meantime, I've sent off a couple of applications myself, just to test my market rate - let's see what happens. St Albans is a place I could imagine settling down (I haven't lived in a place for longer than 18 months since I moved out of my parents' house when I was 17, mind you), and he could be just the one I could be settling down with, who knows.

New shores and that

2006-07-21T12:32:00.000+01:00

My job hasn't been very challenging lately. After the initial three months of "get in there and turn it around" my enthusiasm slumped and the project, being on the right way again, hasn't been very interesting anymore.

It's made me think that I maybe shouldn't only look for something different, maybe I should try and go into contracting. Project work limited to a rather short period of time, teams usually close to collapse, the project itself way over budget and with a deadline the next day… would suit me well.

Besides… they pay ridicoulous amounts of money, but means on the other hand that I don't have a pension, private health care or even holidays unless I take care of it myself… Let's see. Certainly something I shall keep in mind.

DML DD 289

2006-07-20T11:58:00.000+01:00

There's good news and bad news today. The bad news first - I'm bit over £700 in credit and it will take another 10 days until the salary comes in. The good news tho (and the reason why), my cheque for the season ticket has been cashed in by West Ham United. 30 days to go!

DIY shopping

2006-07-18T20:31:00.000+01:00

DIY shopping
Originally uploaded by pepsipics.

Never a dull moment when I'm with my man... Love the pic, taken Saturday last week in at TopTiles in Beckton. Probably about the moment I totally fell for him, silly sod.

Shortly after we had our first huge fight, and I hate the fact we live so far away and I'm skint - I probably would have travelled all the way up north to get that straight again. But I couldn't, so I shall be keeping quiet until Friday... Won't be angry anymore by then anyway, I know it.

Week 12, going strong

2006-07-17T09:54:00.000+01:00

When I left St. Albans last night and got the train back to London, it did feel a bit weird. That "it can't be that late yet" and "I don't want the weekend to be over already" numb feeling mixed with that insanely happy grin from somewhere inside.

Truly, madly, deeply?

I think so. And there's been some moments when I thought I'm not the only one.

Tick list

2006-07-12T11:42:00.000+01:00

So I've been to the world cup, and I kinda travelled Europe (not in a camper van, but still seen France, Belgium, Holland, Germany and Switzerland). Checked, ticked, off the list.

What else then? I don't smoke anymore, I haven't done any Charlie or other drugs since my birthday, I rarely get drunk (and not that drunk that I'm doing completely wank stuff, so apologies it's gone boring lately).

I'm an ex-smoker (day 12)

2006-07-11T15:30:00.000+01:00

... and it doesn't really bother me. Huh. When Andy left last night I remembered having a pack of fags in the living room. And I had one. A half one. Then it got to me again and I had another one. A quarter, max.

Today I'm back at work trying to find other reasons to have a break, but I'm not really missing it. I'm an ex-smoker on day 12 and it was a piece of piss.

Hello and goodbye

2006-07-11T15:21:00.000+01:00

Managed to survive the 10 days with only one minor fight on a generally wank day (full moon it was), my man thinking my folks don't like him (bless him), and I for one am not sure if I still want to... go on. Err. What?

See, last night was the first night on my own again, and I didn't like it. I spoke to his dad today and I thought he was sweet. I'm looking back thinking we had a faboulous time. We can talk, laugh, eat. I had a book with me (the "emergency book") in case I get bored but I didn't even read one page. I like it having him in the same room or near me and I love the way he makes me laugh. I've even stopped smoking (get this!!!). Sounds pretty much like I'm in love but I'm not.

I don't think there's a single picture of me or us. He's mentioned he doesn't know if this is going anywhere serious. There's a lot of stuff going on in his life he doesn't feel like sharing.

So it might be it's just I wouldn't let myself falling for him. Or we're just better off as mates. Time will tell.

Germany here we come

2006-06-26T09:05:00.000+01:00

So it's all sorted now - leaving Thursday night to catch the ferry over to Belgium, then all the way to Germany - we have to be in Gelsenkirchen on Saturday 1st July for the England game. In case Switzerland gets through to the semis, next stop will be Dortmund on the 4th, if not, we might head to Munich for the English playing the semi on the 5th.

Then there's the final in Berlin... not too sure 'bout that one. Seeing my folks doesn't wash with going to Berlin (over 500 miles, each way) - and then there will be the sheer masses leaving the town after the final whistle, with us. Reckon it's going to take us 10-12 hours back to Dunkerque, which doesn't quite fit in with our plans to catch the ferry that Monday night. Well... We'll see. If the Switz (or English) lose the semis there's still a match in Stuttgart.

We have a tent, a car, an airbed, a map and a football. Sorted. Let's go!

One step closer

2006-06-23T11:48:00.000+01:00

Premiership fixture list came out yesterday at 10am - I faked sudden illness to sneak out of the meeting and have a glimpse. Charlton at home first game - ok, Charlton ain't very exciting but it's a home game, so I'll get to see everyone again. Tuesday after that it'll be Watford away before it's Liverpool away on the Saturday 26 August - for which I'm checking flights, trains and hotels now. Roll on Premiership!

Things I want...

2006-06-23T11:12:00.000+01:00

... and things I don't want. Spoke to my best friend last night, haven't heard of her for a couple of weeks. She's very very very happy with her man - they talk about moving together, kids, marriage, the lot. I loved it - I could hear it how happy she is.

She's asked me about A. If he's the man for me? I couldn't say. If he makes me happy. Not today I said, after all that happened during the day. I laughed it off but it got me thinking. I want to be with somebody there is a chance I'll have a future with. I wonder if I'm strong enough this time.

Debt free

2006-06-20T15:22:00.000+01:00

... I've done it. Paid off the ten grand. Written statement and confirmation here in front of me. 'tis pretty amazing feeling. Now all that's left is a grand or two on my credit card, but that's nothing compared... Thank fuck for that, I'm back.

Tuesday limps

2006-06-20T11:13:00.000+01:00

It's the same every Tuesday morning, limping into office... last night's football training has taken its toll, it's my ankle this time.

But anyway, I'm only two weeks away from my holiday - I've moved heaven and earth to get the first week in July off. Even had to get a temp in, no shit (well I didn't think it was necessary but it just looks good). And now it's official, since yesterday, I can go - but can't get hold of Andy, who needs to put in his holiday as well. If he's changed his mind I'll kill him.

Kid's play

2006-06-17T21:02:00.000+01:00

Went to get another football today after the last one went missing from Canary Wharf last Saturday... Whilst I was waiting for Mikey to stop playing online poker I started talking to two kids down the park - or rather they started talking to me.

So we ended up playing football for an hour, made Mike chucking down the whistle so we could have a proper referee, it was pretty cool. It made me think... From the five boys I am pretty sure I can tell who's going to struggle... who's going to be one of them heartbrakers, who's probably going to be addicted at some later stage in life. I don't know if it's obvious to others as well, but it reminded me of my plan to (at some time) retire from the rat race in London, move to the country side and be a teacher.

There, I said it...

2006-06-16T15:35:00.000+01:00

... I've complained. And I feel a million times better, now it's out. I think he knows I didn't mean to give him a hard time but that I needed some sort of reassurance whilst he's dealing with his shit. And that's probably why we're trying to get a week off and go to Germany for the last week of the world cup.

For Shaka. For West Ham. For Sensimilla.

2006-06-16T09:28:00.000+01:00

Oh, and there was a game too last night, England v Shaka. I have to admit the office feed drove me mad so I left, only to get at home right in time to see Stevie Gerrards blinder go in. Poor Shak. He must have seen enough of him for a lifetime.

Gym. Not shit!

2006-06-16T09:14:00.000+01:00

Tried it on Wednesday... But forgot the trakkie bottoms (clever). Tried again Thursday, but the trains were fucked (great). So today I was expecting something similar - but I made it. 8am at the gym, well done me. Feeling pretty good now!

Which is good news because I'm actually fuming... A went virtually AWOL, means I haven't spoken to him this week and, thinking of it, neither last week. I know his sis isn't well and I think his boss is giving him a hard time, so I thought I better don't go and complain for not treating me like a princess.

But quite frankly, I've had enough of it now. Because I'm only guessing, and it might as well be that it's me that makes him unhappy.

*hand slap head

2006-06-15T11:29:00.000+01:00

Righty then... Imagine a blog being a virtual diary. And the various entries in a blog represent the pages. Easy you say. Nay.

This guy here buys a new diary every time he wants to write something new in it. Kinda. Clever. Really.

Da Switz

2006-06-14T17:55:00.000+01:00

So Switzlerand played last night. A draw, awful game, France was crap, didn't like Frey's "hand of God", end of. Then again, a draw against France - we have potential to become they're bogey team...

... Tired. Off. Bye.

Can I just say...

2006-06-13T13:32:00.000+01:00

... no drugs for the last 4 weeks. Whoey. That's a record I think!

Bahamas

2006-06-13T12:29:00.000+01:00

It's well hot on the sun. And here. Playing football last night, must have been 600 degrees on the pitch, at least. But I must have burned 20 000 calories, whoey.

Off to watch Switzerland play tonight, wee bit excited now!

S(w)ing it back

2006-06-12T14:55:00.000+01:00

Right then. I've never been particularly good at being mentally stable but this takes the piss no end.

For two weeks I've been thinking I should have a break and go on a bender with mates only, no lovvey-dovvey (I really like it in the meantime which adds to the general confusion) stuff, just tell straight out "I won't be around this weekend". Good plan.

So this weekend A was around mine again, me half asleep (post-coitus doesn't really help logical thinking, does it) and before I can think I say it: "if we carry on like this I will fall for you, hun".

WTF? Anyway. I got over the shock of me saying it - and he was probably more shocked than I was anyway. So the next day we're out and about, football, drinks, food, the lot, with two other couples (yay or nay? don't know). On the way back he goes "I don't know if I'll come down to London next weekend". Now there's me interpreting this as "look I need a break", as I need one anyway, but the fact that he said it first pisses me off.

Yes, I'm one of those that would dump a bloke I like just to make sure I'm not the one dumped.

Now I'm not too sure if I really want that weekend off anyway. Because he wants it. It drives me mad. Oh, and the fact that I got caught off guard Sunday afternoon didn't help either. We came back from football and he gets ready to leave (earlier as usual), and I'm too slow to react (I'm fucking slow with shit like this anyway). And I had a lot of unanswered questions I wanted to asked. Which I asked via text message (stupid). Anyway.

I'm turning into an insecure, mad thinking, not very laid back anymore bunny boiler, and I hate it. What probably means I really like him.

Bowyer signs

2006-06-09T13:35:00.000+01:00

And I get a pat on the back for my posting! Didn't expect that at all but I feel well proud now. Anyway. Lee Bowyer (how the f*ck is that name pronounced anyway) will play for West Ham - setting is off-the-pitch antics aside (I think he's paid for them) I reckon il Padre will sort him out and get the most out of him. Bowyer knows he has to prove himself and I can't wait to see him play.

Apart from that, it's about 26C and sunny and nearly 2pm Friday afternoon. Roll on world cup - I shall lie in the sun and be pissed before kick-off! Andy should be around mine later tonight so I'll take him out for a couple of drinks - early night tonight, it's football tomorrow... but only half as good as premiership. Missing it big time, I wonder what happened to the kumb summer party...

Plain wrong

2006-06-08T18:31:00.000+01:00

Something is not quite right with this country. So we're having a bit of trouble with asylum seekers that commit crimes and then disappear, the BNP is on a high and a lot of people I know are close to what I would call racists...

... and then there is my work mate, living and working here, paying taxes - and my company tried to extend her visa because she's doing a brilliant job. And she can't stay, because she's South African and hasn't got a degree. Bollocks to that, sir.

My past is haunting me

2006-06-06T15:51:00.000+01:00

In a good way this time - haven't spoken to Craig for ages so it was nice to hear from him. After a couple of emails we're now back on track and know what's happening in each others lives. Told him about me being a good girl lately...

[...]I've never believed that anything is bad for you - until it's been proven by me laying in pool of my own body fluids...

Good old C...

[...]I cannot believe how much you've cleaned up your act! [...] - was so pleased to hear that you're at least still smoking!

Actually, yes. No drugs for the last 2 months which is quite an achievement if you ask me. Cheers, pal.

Missing you

2006-06-05T16:20:00.000+01:00

I miss my football. I miss getting up early on Saturdays for a breakfast at Ken's before the first pint of the day down the Boleyn. I miss bumping into people on the road I've seen fortnightly all season. I miss the buzz and the excitement, the rants and banter during the matches. I even miss the nutteres and idiots, the ones that try to grab you and others that wouldn't allow girls in the ground if they were in charge.

The world cup, I couldn't care less. Yes, I will watch the matches - but why should I give a shit? To say it in someone else's words (if I could remember who it was I'd say, honestly): "Why should I cheer players I hate just because they're wearing an England shirt".

Next stop: Premiership fixtures, out on June 22nd at 11am. Watch this space!

It was the foxes!

2006-06-05T12:36:00.000+01:00

Good time I had. Sneak preview of Vicary Road (will be a nice day out), some hardcore shopping (here's to white trainers pair no. 6), very good food and being overheard having sex (yeah awesome, especially the next day).

So, everyone. If you pretend being asleep but can hear somebody trying to shag not too loud in the room next to yours, do you

a) say something at the first bit of funny "dying dog sounds", or

b) have a giggle and wait till it seems to be over an hour later, then knock at the door and say "have you finished or are you just having a break"

Thought so. Thanks.

Happy anniversary

2006-06-02T10:28:00.000+01:00

Happy 1st birthday dear stoners blog! Finally, I've arrived in blogger's heaven and refer to my own shit. Hope you'll like the "this day last year" feature.

This day last year: Just back from South Africa. I don't want AIDS again!

How to give up smoking part II

2006-06-02T10:23:00.000+01:00

Right. I've cut down to 10 fags a day (which is half of my usual intake) and half of those I don't really smoke but just let them burn down coz I'm busy talking. Anyway. What's much more important - I haven't had any charlie in 4 weeks. I've just realised today. Didn't even miss it really.

Thinking of it... Good night out anyone?

Shopping madness

2006-06-02T10:18:00.000+01:00

So I went to ASDA last night and walked towards the tills when I realised that there were 3 orderly queues formed by... trollies only. Uh?

Nice idea. You go shopping and when you're half finished, you park your trolly at the till and shoot off to get the rest of your shit.

Anyway, I squeezed past one of them (nobody around mind you and the till girl was nearly finished with the bloke she'd been serving) and started putting my stuff on. I think the girl was half way through when a family emerged from the sweets and chocolate aisle, arms full of goods and gave me very angry looks because I had the nerves to jump to queue.

You having a laugh. Fuck off.

Stand well back...

2006-05-31T12:40:00.000+01:00

Madam is suffering of PMS. You've been warned!

Anyway. This girlfriend/boyfriend business drives me mad. First of all, it makes me feel friggin' uncomfortable, just because I like it. Don't make any sense? It well does. I did catch myself thinking "... I could get used to this" just to get a kick in the non-existent bollocks by getting told I shouldn't put too much effort in it coz it won't be anything long-term anyway. Well fuck off then, I ain't gonna waste my time.

But then again, he's cute. And a nice waste of time anyway, so I'll have it for a bit. All the girls reading this I can hear you scream "nooooo" and me telling you lot that I can decide whether to get emotionally involved or not, you know it's a lie.

Busted

2006-05-25T09:42:00.000+01:00

I had it all planned - coming into work today (still got that cold, big time), moaning around for half a day, then shooting off at midday everyone patting me on the back for hanging in there that long... and then stay away from the office until next week, which should have given me nearly a week of sweet fuck all holidays.

So I got in this morning, and one of the team was quicker than me. He's called in sick. Friggin' wanker. I ain't gonna let the team down now. Friggin' wanker. He ain't ill that friggin'... you get the picture. What a wanker.

Blatantly sweet

2006-05-24T12:49:00.000+01:00

Nooo it's a lie, feeling like shit, I've come down with a stinking cold. The stupid b*tch standing next to me was wearing an ugly perfume making me cough all the way to work.

I'll be off to see my client this afternoon, bet he wants to talk business after our meeting. I'll keep you posted.

My man's still asleep and I'm bored shitless. Did too much work this morning obviously.

Texting folks

2006-05-23T11:29:00.000+01:00

My parents... I love them dearly, but my dad just keeps taking the piss. I've got a cold, had to get up at 6.30am this morning and yesterday it was pissing down big time. So I wasn't really overjoyed when they sent me this text when I was on the way to work this morning:

"Hi Dani we're in a beautiful hotel just leaving for a beach walk towards St Tropez, x"

Yeah thanks.

Download season ticket application form

2006-05-22T17:30:00.000+01:00

Uh-oh, do do doo, downloaded, filled in, now on my desk in all its glory - the application form for my season ticket. The "I've enclosed a cheque over £555" hurts a bit but then again, a big chunk comes from my company for my neverending and always motivated contribution.

So I'll go and send it off now. My season ticket. And a ticket for the first Euro game for a tenner on top of it.

My life is complete.

How to give up smoking... not

2006-05-22T16:35:00.000+01:00

I feel like a bag of shit today and I blame my rather lame attempt not to smoke. I managed nearly 24 hours! Not bad for a first try. Maybe it wasn't too clever to go to the pub Sunday afternoon, but then again we wanted to watch the play-off final.

Anyway. I'm seriously considering giving up now... or soon. Just don't quite know how - Zyban? Patches? Cold turkey? It honestly scares me... for no obvious reason, thinking about it. Have a cold today and having a fag is seriously evil, and whenever I'm coughing - you smokers out there know how it is!

Tips on a postcard. Off to buy some nicotine patches... tomorrow.

Let's give it a go then

2006-05-17T15:00:00.000+01:00

Mad world. I have a wicked job offer (can't say too much about it yet) and... looks like Andy and I are going to give it a go. Blimey. Being an old bugger ain't too bad then.

Seven shades of shock

2006-05-16T11:32:00.000+01:00

Saturday night - still on a high from all the adrenaline

Sunday - denial and complete lack of understanding

Monday - emptiness and despair

Tuesday - pride

So I guess I'm over it now - sod it, look where we've come from!

I've had this before

2006-05-15T15:26:00.000+01:00

Vaguely remember this, not eating much because you have all the serotonin going, stupidly grinning for no obvious reasons, bit of an ache somewhere in your stomach. No no noooo good this is.

People telling me that I defend him, and I get kicks on my shins for the way at look at him, and me refusing to admit that there's anything more to it but it only sounds half-hearted...

We didn't win because...

2006-05-15T15:20:00.000+01:00

... I wasn't there, with my lucky pants. There, I've said it. Or maybe because I sent a text in the 88. minute. Or maybe it was because Steven fucking Gerrard scored that goal in the 90. What a c*nt. Please sign him.

It was a fabulous day. Getting up at 4am ten minutes before my alarm went off. Downing half of a (ok, small) bottle of Vodka because wouldn't take it that a mate can take 3 gulps. Getting wankered at the walkabout. Comforting a girl outside the boozer crying her heart out. Feeling shit the next day seeing pictures of Yossi and Anton. Being very pissed off today because it was unfair not winning. But we didn't lose either. Now shut up, roll on next season.

an email I sent today...

2006-05-12T17:31:00.000+01:00

It's started yesterday, that sickly, nervous feeling in my stomach. Went out last night and got absolutely sloshed - and when I woke up this morning ("oh no, not again - where am I?") I was still drunk from the night before. But there was only one thing in my mind - getting to work in time, so I can leave in time tonight. I have another 45 minutes to go until I can leave. Haven't done much today but surfed KUMB. Got goosebumps here and there and could feel the tension building up. All day I had this urge of shouting IRONS and singing bubbles!

On my way home I will look out for the lads in colours. That's when you sit in the tube grinning a stupid smile because you see somebody with a west ham scarf at the other end of the carriage. I won't be able to sleep tonight, again. I'll be ironing and cleaning the flat, again, as I did the night before the semi. I'll be laying out the stuff I'm going to wear tomorrow and prepare the overnight-rescue-first-aid-food bag. I shall be lying sleepless until 3am and then get up and get ready. My bus is leaving at 5.10am tomorrow morning, and it will get me to Wanstead/Redbrige by 6am. Deano is going to pick me up at 6.15am, I believe there will be a whole coach - some of the lads we've met at the boozer in Birmingham, remember? The ones that were sitting at the same table with us.

This email took me nearly an hour now. I'm absolutely useless today. Can't think of anything but going to Cardiff, having a great day out, sunshine, beers, dodgy pies, the roaring, the fun on the road, more beers, getting all excited, butterflies, the nailbiting... yay! I better go now :-)

Have a fantastic weekend, I'll be phoning the world when we lift the cup :-)

Ok ok, it's two days today, kinda...

2006-05-11T15:19:00.000+01:00

Still no ticket, I'm giving up. Was actually thinking of not going to Cardiff at all... Had a pretty bad day yesterday, but late at night Andy called - he got all sweet and I've decided no bad hair day should make me miss Cardiff.

The idea of going to the world cup (car, tent, bikini), as nice as it was, we've cancelled. Just too much hassle and money - might as well just watch it here in England. Sod it. But I thought it was sweet of him asking - I wouldn't be able to spend more than 3 days with myself, and then going for 2 weeks? Fcuk me!

Will be off to see the streets tonight, can't wait! Should be a laugh - flogged my spare and Kevin is coming with me. Haven't seen him in ages, reckon he wouldn't mind a go but this time you'll be banging your head against a brick wall, luv.

2 days to the final

2006-05-10T15:30:00.000+01:00

I'm doomed, FFS! Mate I wanted to go with hasn't been feeling well and I'm not quite sure whether I'm (partly) responsible for this. Called Monday saying he wasn't even sure he'd go to Cardiff - what? Something's wrong.

Oh. Text right this minute. All good.

World cup, you're having a laugh!

2006-05-09T11:06:00.000+01:00

A girl's view on the world cup squad? Pleasure! Nice legs they have, and shame Theo fucking Walcott is only 17 - I ain't that much of a nappy chaser.

Goalkeepers - yeah, whatever. Not much to argue about. Defenders - looks solid. Not much to argue about. Now...

Midfielders. Jenas, Hargreaves, Downing and Lennon are four players I personally wouldn't have chosen - especially not looking at the forwards, of which we have only 4 on the list, two of them ain't fit, the third is Crouch (sorry but he makes me cringe) and the other is Theo fucking Walcott.

Picking players for a world cup squad isn't a job I wanted. It's not about stats, and it's not entirely about individuals. It's a team you have to put together, and the best player in a league team is only as good as the passes he gets from his pals. Put two world class stikers upfront and you're not guaranteed a string of goals - they need a whole team behind, down to the fucking kitchen crew as we now all know.

Sven is having a kick-ass gamble here. With Theo fucking wonderkid Walcott he might land a strike, but I doubt it. Shame, I was looking forward to this.

Monday comedown

2006-05-08T17:28:00.000+01:00

Just realised. So I shall be heading West for the football training today - getting my serotonin levels back up.

Writer's block

2006-05-08T15:39:00.000+01:00

There, I've said it. Barbeque at Greg's - great. Birthday bash at Plan B - great. Winning against Spurs - great. Today's mood - sh*t.

next stop: brixton academy

2006-05-05T11:51:00.000+01:00

Coming home on Wednesday, I had a card from the post office: Special delivery. I froze: haven't I paid an invoice? Someone's been looking for me, uh, help - fucking pain! Then, last night, I realised it might as well be the tickets for the streets gig on thursday - and yes, they are. Good I haven't ignored that thing (as I usually do).

8 days to the final

2006-05-05T11:48:00.000+01:00

... and still nothing. Should I be worried? I'm not at the moment, I got one for the semi - on the other hand, I shouldn't expect that it's going to work out just fine because of that. Damn.

Go figure

2006-05-04T13:52:00.000+01:00

Alright. Someone give me strength - Andy wanted to take me out Saturday before the match, birthday drinks. There wasn't enough time to switch on my brain so I invited him down to my ex house to join us for a barbeque and clubbing in Brixton afterwards. ... Sunday we'll go for breakfast at Ken's and a couple of pints near the ground.

Well done me! FFS!

The male brain. Is there one?

2006-05-03T14:30:00.000+01:00

Today's convo with one of my best mates...

Dani says:
mate i'm telling you, had a date this weekend
Dani says:
fucking sweetheart he is but
Gregg says:
but?
Dani says:
well
Dani says:
we met on sun and monday
Dani says:
on monday I said i'd like to see him again
Dani says:
and he goes: I'm not looking for a relationship, I'm not ready to settle down, not with anyone, don't take it personal
Dani says:
all the crap you know
Gregg says:
yeah
Dani says:
I know how to take it
Dani says:
it means, sorry it ain't you
Dani says:
but anyway
Gregg says:
you met him both days?
Dani says:
yes
Gregg says:
yeah
Gregg says:
I can understand
Dani says:
had about 2 phone calls
Gregg says:
your a lot to take on
Dani says:
3 emails
Dani says:
20 texts
Dani says:
I know
Dani says:
:-)
Dani says:
bit confused if he's interested or not
Dani says:
now he's telling me he wants to see me on sat
Dani says:
what for, for fuck's sake
Dani says:
???
Gregg says:
shagged him yet?
Dani says:
errrrr
Gregg says:
thats probably why he wants to see you Saturday then hey!
Dani says:
oh... good point!
Gregg says:
:-)

Half time, sort of...

2006-05-03T09:56:00.000+01:00

Great day to think where I started sometime earlier this year, remembered this post late January, now let's see...

- no more one nighters with strangers
willing spirit, but the flesh is weak - or what. Well at least I managed to get names and phone numbers from all of them? No seriously, I've calmed down a lot.

- hitting the 35k p.a. mark
getting there. I'll have to change jobs if I want to make a real improvement (way over my goal btw) but... we'll see.

- get back in shape
err. no. Still playing volleyball and football tho, especially with football I've realised that I'm just not fit, so... gym today. Kat and Mike promised me to drag me there twice a week, which should be ok for a start.

- move back to South London
now that's a different story. I'm not quite sure whether i really want to move back to South London. It's taken a fair bit of time and lots of effort, but I feel very much at home now. I've even started (again) looking at flats to rent. Once a towner, always a towner? I love this shithole.

Body clock? Eh?

2006-05-03T09:51:00.000+01:00

So I was vegging out on the sofa after another hard day (errr) watching telly - great, I thought, new programme on. "How to turn back your body clock". Started watching it and got very, very frightened. This bloke's liver was already seriously damaged (not nice seeing the scans, honestly!) and all. What can I say, I have my gym stuff with me today! Let's see how long that's going to last...

11 days to the final

2006-05-02T13:21:00.000+01:00

still no tix in hand. getting bit nervous now...

Dress rehearsal

2006-04-27T13:43:00.000+01:00

There we were last night, playing Liverpool - I thought the boys did well and I've never been more confident we can beat them. Go figure:

Bolton league match lost - FA cup match won
Boro league match lost - FA cup match won

Liverpool league match lost - you do the maths... Even if we don't, who fucking cares, this season was a blinder. Loving it!

17 days to the final

2006-04-26T13:41:00.000+01:00

Not quite sure what lenghths I'll have to go to get tickets for this one. As I had my semi tix offered by someone who hasn't got one for the final, I feel obliged to do what I can.

So I'll go and see my old mate Stu who's promised me he'd be able to get a couple (is it cheeky thinking of 6?) in the West Ham end.

At least, this way I'll get them face value and off the market where they'd almost certainly end up being touted for the big money. And I could get them back where they belong, in the hands of real supporters. Stu knows that, he owes me a favour or seven, and the fact he might get lucky with me should be incentive enough.

I'll keep you posted.

Monday's the new black

2006-04-26T10:27:00.000+01:00

Now that's exciting - had my first proper football training on Monday, and it was brilliant! Although I realised just how fit I am - not. Vowed to go running twice a week. But apart from that, was very pleased with myself! Roll on Monday nights!

Next stop: Cardiff!

2006-04-25T12:46:00.000+01:00

The night before the day after I just couldn't sleep. Cleaned the bathroom until 11pm. Watched MotD. Then ironing until 1am. Still couldn't sleep. Watched the Football Factory on voiceover until 3am. Still couldn't sleep. Some more rubbish TV. Tea. Hot milk. Last time I checked the time it was 4am - and then I got woken up, alarm clock was set to 5.30am.

The day itself, what can I say. I was there. I soaked it all up and it's something I'll tell my grandkids about. That day we won the semi at Villa Park.

I thought I could say more about it by now, but I don't have any words for it. Precious memories, not that I don't want to share them, but - it's nothing I can describe. I'm a very, very lucky girl, mind you, lots of people wanted to go but couldn't - and then there's me, getting a ticket offered, meeting a lot of good people. I know I'm lucky and I'm very grateful for this. Thanks everyone.

(end of sob story!)

Result!

2006-04-20T10:17:00.000+01:00

Read my horoscope in the Sun yesterday (don't ask), can't remember much but this bit: "... luck will text at 9pm".

It was a phone call at twenty to. "You're sitting?". "Comfortably?". "I got you a ticket for the semi".

F*cking result! It was only yesterday when I mentioned to someone that I still had this feeling of getting lucky - there we go. 'appy girl, all the way.

MIL stands for MUPPET

2006-04-19T11:07:00.000+01:00

Oh Mikey... my flatmate from hell - male, English, 28-ish, straight and all, but just not that into football.

AC Milan playing FC Barcelona last night, we're 10 minutes into the game, I'm vegged out on the sofa watching when he walks in, looks at the telly and says:

"Millwall playing who?"

Mind you, that ain't a joke!

Cor! Blimey!

2006-04-18T11:41:00.000+01:00

We're in Hollywood!

My best friend V called yesterday - I knew she met this fella a couple of months ago and all, but they've hit it off now. Talking about engagement and all - I'm chuffed!

So she's says he's the one, fair play to her and I wish her all the best, honestly. Will try to keep the sarcasm down and at the same time not to listen to the little girl thinking of the "happily-ever-after". Hoping the two will prove me wrong.

Egged out

2006-04-18T09:54:00.000+01:00

Morning everyone, sorry to keep you waiting... This wonderful weekend has seen two matches, a lovely day full of sunshine and an Easter Sunday working.

I merely survived a boring Friday with shopping and coffee break near Canada Water. Sitting outside in the sun, there was this cutie passing by beaming at me. Gave him a huge smile back - not because I liked him, but because he was wearing a Millwall beanie. Yes babes, I was laughing at you, not with you... looks like you'll be playing Orient next season.

Saturday off for a couple (ok, too many) of pre-match drinks at the Boleyn - then off to the Wakefield to meet and greet some fellow KUMBers. By the time I got to the match, I saw two Deanos on the pitch. Not nice. Note to self: do the drinking after the match. Ended up somewhere in Forest Gate, had a good time, got home safe - all good.

Sunday (again) at work for a couple of hours - Monday another match day, me trotting off to the Hammer's down the road. Starting off really well with a diet coke and ending up at the Swan with some too many. Feeling bit rough now.

Thinking of C coming over this weekend, something that will help me pull through for another couple of days.

What's your price tag?

2006-04-13T11:44:00.000+01:00

Been trying to blag a tix for the semi final at Villa Park on Sunday in a week, but it really doesn't look like I'll make it, dammit. I'm actually that desperate it's made me realise I do have a price tag:

One of my mates is looking for two because I said he could have another go (we shagged before) if he got me in there.

Then I said I'd sit in the Boro end playing cool, because my client knows a die-hard s/t holder who might be able to take me in.

And last but not least, trying to be nice and keeping my eyes and ears open just in case there's something coming up, for a blow job or two me thinks.

Everything's got a price... Indecent proposal, anyone?

... never went to church

2006-04-10T15:51:00.000+01:00

... Tunes in my ears, tears in my eyes - and still, a big huge smile, because I still got my dad and everyone around me, consider myself lucky then.

This tune is just pure, simple, and honest. Loving it.

Tunes in my ears

2006-04-10T11:29:00.000+01:00

Listening to the new streets album - the hardest way to make an easy living. Vaguely remember reading something about it in Sunday's Observer - ".... he's in a dark place". Second that.

Probably nowhere near OPM but then again, we all change - and I'm pretty sure it will grow on me the more often I listen to it.

Hats off to Mike Skinner.

Sleb spot!

2006-04-10T10:38:00.000+01:00

What can I say... Hanging in a comfy sofa at my local, and then he walks in, in all his glory *grin* Fuck me, shit hot - nothing more to add. Thanks, dear God, seeing my team losing against Chelsea doesn't hurt as much when you have Danny Dyer sitting next you shouting "fuck off" at the big screen...

This number ain't dial-a-shag, love!

2006-04-10T09:42:00.000+01:00

Saturday, 8 April 2008, 11pm

T: "fancy coming round"
me: "out in town"
T: "ok"

about 5 mins later...

T: "U can still come round"
me: "I'm in brixton babe doubt I'll make it back east tonight - I will let you know"
T: "Make your excuses and leave. It will be worth it. I promise"
me: "can't, next time"

then, Andrea gave me a much needed kicking.

me: "so you're just after a shag, if so you maybe better get it somewhere else"
T: "Don't be like that"
me: "like what?"
T: "Being funny, I'm almost home so do y fancy popping round. Get a cab and i will pay half"
me: "forget it"

Makes me feel... half proud, half pissed off, and at the end of the day it's been my fault entirely, having a big mouth and all. FO.

I'll get my coat!

2006-04-07T09:17:00.000+01:00

Well then, that was... My ass. Boro 3-0 down on aggregate and then winning the game - can somebody explain? Anyway, it was nailbiting, and either way I'm happy with Boro winning as they'll probably go easy on us in the FA cup.

Current state of mind

2006-04-06T14:20:00.000+01:00

Not really happy here I guess - but then again, I wasn't happy anywhere else either. Sod it.

... in confidence...

2006-04-06T10:28:00.000+01:00

Every now and then people sitting next to me fiddle around with their blackberries - those clever little gadgets giving you access to your company email, for example...

Remember the days at school when you had to add cheating to your skill sets - how to read your neighbours tests without moving your head. Well, I can still do it, beware everyone.

Nevertheless companies should be well aware of this. Especially one company, who's employee Steve ****** used his blackberry to email his mate about Lin *****. Allegedly she's confessed in confidence that she's squelled £1.6m in a ****** business meeting........that's where the train arrived in Canning Town and I left the carriage.

Stupid fuckers. Want me to post the company name and all your last names as well?

Singing...

2006-04-04T16:27:00.000+01:00

... oh, we're very talented, aren't we!

Arno's video capture of Sunday's pre-match singing at the Boleyn, sounds funny as fuck... Still fighting with the dimension, so here's "bubbles" first.

Speaking of bubbles, yeah love that stuff - that's what I call a nice fry up, sod the beans!

April, issit!?

2006-04-03T13:46:00.000+01:00

Holy moly, it's April. Had Arno & Clemens on visit (a day late but hey... f*cking frogs, how dare they going on strike!) and had a great time! Saturday we missed out on clubbing, for the sake of spare ribs and pulled pork - but Sunday saw us back on track with a nice breakfast at Ken's Cafe, early afternoon warm-up pints and then some (very dire) Sunday 4pm football.

The real surprise got me when we eventually walked back to my local. The landlord isn't really into party and all, I think the most exciting music he'd ever put on in his pub must be Elvis or anything else you can hear in lifts and shopping centres for elderly...

But then - big surprise. There's a live thingy going on (which was supposed to be just as dire) and suddenly (was it the beer? the brandy? someone spiked the drinks?) the whole bleeding pub was on their feet dancing away. Bloody 'ell, it was unreal.

Don't get me wrong - good fun and all, but this was my lovely sweet East London haven to watch football, drink a pint or seven and have a decent pub grub. AND I WANT IT BACK!

Bad hair day. Very bad hair day.

2006-03-31T13:13:00.000+01:00

It's all gone wrong, slightly... Work is killing me at the moment, there's so much going on it's unreal.

Then I can't go to watch the second leg Boro-Basel, now that the boys have played them yesterday (pleasure to watch, and very weird to have English commentary). Gutted.

Then I missed out on the (slim, but nevertheless) chance to go to the FA cup semi. Coz I were stupid. Dammit.

Days like these make me sick and angry for some reason, especially thinking that I'll be working till very very late tonight and there's nobody at home I can make responsible for or at least shout at.

Anyway. Nam nulla est sine causa.

This bloke opposite me is eating chrisps and it drives me FUCKING MAD. SHUT YOUR NOISE. I hate that. Keep your mouth shut when you a) eat and b) still stink of booze from the night before. Although, for the records, he's quite alright actually.

Good luck...

2006-03-29T13:39:00.000+01:00

How friggin' sweet is this, my best mate has found a guy that ticks all the boxes. Easy you say, but I think it's a major miracle.

Ever since we met at Uni, she wanted to marry a vet, buy a mas in France and live there happily ever after - with dogs, her horse, cats and goats... well you get the picture. It's not like there's vets queing somewhere, actually there are no half-normal guys queuing anywhere... She's been single for a while (we're talking years!) and there was the odd day she was doubting... lowering expectations and all.

Glad she didn't (just for the records, I told her not to! But then again, who am I giving advice anyway), she's met him a while ago and now they're dating. It's so goddamn sweet it makes me cringe!!! And I'm very, very happy for her. Will start knitting baby socks now.

Sow the wind and...

2006-03-28T15:38:00.000+01:00

Whatever. I'll stop whinging about men, promise.

Tomorrow sees another major clash and I'll be at the boozer watching it. Need some distraction from work, it's been hell the last couple of weeks and there's days I think I'm loosing it. Note to myself: don't work weekends, it's not worth it.

Got myself new football shoes and tested them yesterday - sun was still out, bliss!

Cough it up...

2006-03-27T12:23:00.000+01:00

... and stick it where the sun don't shine!

Suspect A: fancies me big time apparently (should have realised before I agreed going out with him), but I don't. Great.

Suspect B: doesn't call for a week but then bells me Sunday morning 6am to make me come over to his place "come on then babe, I'll pay for the taxi". Sod off.

Suspect C: has a boring sex life with his girlfriend, so wants to come back and have some fun... yeah.

Suspect D: is just filthy as f...

Goddammit. Who the fuck do you think you are. No, worse actually. What the fuck do you think I am?

What else you gonna do on a Saturday...

2006-03-25T14:25:00.000Z

... but work. Yum.

Got loads of shit at work that needs finishing up- it's so much going on at the moment it's just too easy to completely lose the plot. So I'm here today, working my guts out again. Need to be ready at 3pm for Wigan... this time I even found proper working live-stream so I'm happy as larry.

Announcement last night we'd play the semis at VP, well then... doesn't look like I'll get a ticket for that, and no - spare your thoughts, I won't s*ck anyone's for this, thank you very much.

I'm bit in a bad mood, don't know why exactly. And I don't like people that are not passionate about the things they do. By the way. (Where did this come from now???)